She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize