she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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