Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
