when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
