I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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