Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
