We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
