That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
well I can't set my house on fire every night
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
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if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
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I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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