In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize