party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
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ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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