chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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