I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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