Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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