Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
