honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Randomize
