Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
COCAINE IS GR8
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
