That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
