marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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