You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
