clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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