I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
