So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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