This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
