saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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