It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
