my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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