quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
