I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
