I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize