I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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