I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he puts the penis in happiness.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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