I am spending my child support on dildos
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
