dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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