at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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