You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
