all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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