Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
