The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
