Texts From Last Night

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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him

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  (484): he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him http://tfl.nu/d2zc
  Replies (83) Good night (1018) Bad night (4054)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off

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  (508): Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off http://tfl.nu/hh3c
  Replies (34) Good night (526) Bad night (3602)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.

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  (724): I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet. http://tfl.nu/hq1s
  Replies (19) Good night (6303) Bad night (853)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.

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  (859): So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form. http://tfl.nu/if3v
  Replies (14) Good night (4976) Bad night (2705)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.

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  (908): My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place. http://tfl.nu/pxw5
  Replies (7) Good night (4353) Bad night (706)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.

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  (617): Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here. http://tfl.nu/6cd7
  Replies (4) Good night (2914) Bad night (854)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him

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  (416): He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him http://tfl.nu/ykad
  Replies (12) Good night (2491) Bad night (941)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.

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  (+44): I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral. http://tfl.nu/7nti
  Replies (3) Good night (2408) Bad night (640)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.

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  (613): Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar. http://tfl.nu/3xxn
  Replies (1) Good night (1521) Bad night (1081)
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  (619): View more from California

  That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.

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  (619): That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions. http://tfl.nu/77kt
  Replies (2) Good night (1401) Bad night (421)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.

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  (224): We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods. http://tfl.nu/n3ep
  Replies (3) Good night (1829) Bad night (429)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.

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  (608): Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening. http://tfl.nu/bdxc
  Replies (7) Good night (1706) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?

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  (815): She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper? http://tfl.nu/3fdw
  Replies (3) Good night (864) Bad night (354)
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  (760): View more from California

  Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box

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  (760): Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box http://tfl.nu/sl6b
  Replies (4) Good night (254) Bad night (563)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...

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  (425): My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way... http://tfl.nu/ehz3
  Replies (11) Good night (728) Bad night (361)

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