I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
