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• (661): View more from California

  My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss

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• (567): View more from Ohio

  I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..

  (1-567): View more from Ohio

  How so?

  (567): View more from Ohio

  Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.

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• (818): View more from California

  You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Are you high and at a petting zoo again?

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.

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• (631): View more from New York

  He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.

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• (716): View more from New York

  I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.

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• (390): View more from

  She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful

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