My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful