I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
