it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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