There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
