Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I would ride that face into the sunset
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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