I must be too annoying 4 u.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
