This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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