WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
