For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
