We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
