I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
