I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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