Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize