I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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