What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
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