Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
