I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
