i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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