Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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