Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
