So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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