This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
